that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
