i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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