This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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