my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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