The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I stole a fireplace last night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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