He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
