So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize