I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
