is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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