How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
