Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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