She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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