And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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