It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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