I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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