Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize