i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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