Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
