Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
