Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
