I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
