I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Be still, my beating vagina.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
