We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
