your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
