i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Bang-toberfest begins!!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
