shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
