That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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