Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
