Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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