you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
