can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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