covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
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The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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