JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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