and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
