I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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