And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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