shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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