i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize