I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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