walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
