GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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