i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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