clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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