Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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