I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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