You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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