Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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