She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she looked like the before picture.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
