I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
