Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she was so not down for the gang bang
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
