Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
