I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
