Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
