I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
