I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
