i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
