Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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