how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
are you so shy because you have an std?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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