This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
