Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
