ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
