ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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