I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
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he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
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Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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