that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
