So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize