if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
